The mind's take on locked-in syndrome

[have_your_lives]

[It wasn't as though Schuldig expected anything good for Christmas. For one, it's Mayfield; anyone with the barest flicker of intelligence (which would be to say, Ken) could recognize the town's pattern for making life miserable. For another, even if the real Santa had come to visit the town, 'naughty' isn't even near a strong enough word for him. And, finally, he's had years of miserable Christmases, often where the holiday went completely unacknowledged because he was in places that couldn't care less about holidays; experience alone has taught him not to expect differently.

But Mayfield deserves credit where credit is due - this is, without a doubt, the most horrible Christmas in his entire life.

Even before he'd reached the end of his Christmas letter, he'd known he was in trouble. But he hadn't realized just how badly until he reached the last word, and all sound stopped.

All sound.

His ears echo with the silence; telepathically, his mind rings with the emptiness. Every connection he has to the rest of the world has been severed, so abruptly that he has no chance to adjust, no chance to anticipate or cope. It was bad enough when he was restricted to hearing with just his ears when he first arrived in Mayfield, but now he is utterly, completely alone with himself.

And when he tries to scream, he can't make a sound; not that he could hear it either way. He exchanged his voice for the telepathy that's now been ripped away from him.

He can't actually hear the bomb that's ticking away in his stomach, but in his current state, he'd actually consider death a relief. Others may be able to pick up on it, of course...

Housemates can find a shell-shocked Schuldig downstairs by his letter; otherwise, he'll probably be making his way to Nagi's house. Obviously, he's got no other way to communicate with his teammate now. Anyone trying to talk to him will have a very hard time communicating, since he can't hear you and he can't talk back, but you're welcome to try...also, he has his gun in his hand. Surprising him might not be the wisest course.]

Comments

[have-your-lives.livejournal.com]

[Schuldig can't hear, but he can certainly guess the nature of Nagi's inquiry. He taps his ear, again giving a fairly universal "can't hear" sign.]

[bittermayfly.livejournal.com]

[Wait...Schuldig's deaf and there's no attempt at telekinetic conversation? Nagi quickly realizes what must have happened, though he doesn't know what Schuldig requested for this to happen. He grabs a pen and paper, deciding to write in German so they still have privacy if anyone sees this later.]

Santa's not very nice here.

[have-your-lives.livejournal.com]

[Schuldig gives Nagi a rather flat look and plucks the pen from his fingers to write in big block letters, also in German. He also underlines it.]

UNDERSTATEMENT.

[This close, with this uncharacteristic quiet from Schuldig, Nagi may be able to hear the ticking.]

[bittermayfly.livejournal.com]

[He'll just grab another pen for himself, glad there's plenty of paper here. Nagi sorta notices the ticking and sticks his tongue out in thought for a moment.]

You sound like a clock right now. Any ideas why?

[have-your-lives.livejournal.com]

[This earns Nagi a bemused look, and a written reply.] What?

/assuming all normal text is written from here out

[bittermayfly.livejournal.com]

You're ticking.

[Nagi's not sure what that means though.]

Does it have anything to do with what you asked for?

[have-your-lives.livejournal.com]

[Schuldig is silent briefly, ticking over (accidental pun?) his list. Nagi will be able to tell the moment when he hits on the only logical answer; the color drains out of his face.]

I asked for explosives.

[bittermayfly.livejournal.com]

[Nagi notices, of course, and his stomach twists in anticipatiion of what he'll read next. After he skims over the short sentence, he pales as well.]

And it looks like you got them inside you.

[have-your-lives.livejournal.com]

Great. [This is a short, angry scribble. Schuldig seems to seethe for a few moments...but then seems to cool down again, and even flashes Nagi a grin.] Maybe I should head to the church now, then.

[bittermayfly.livejournal.com]

You don't know how long you'll be there waiting for it to blow up.

[But if he goes, Nagi will wait for him. They're the only ones left, after all, and they should stick together whenever they can, even if that's to blow things up and die for a day.]

[have-your-lives.livejournal.com]

Like I want to live like this? I might go back to normal if I die, and it looks like suicide is a built-in option.

I don't have many options anyway.

[bittermayfly.livejournal.com]

Suicide is the only option. I could shoot you too.

[have-your-lives.livejournal.com]

I could shoot myself. I'm not squeamish, Nagi.

But it seems like a waste of a perfectly good explosion...

[bittermayfly.livejournal.com]

I need to learn how to use a gun in case my power gets taken away.

What if it's not a big enough explosion?

[have-your-lives.livejournal.com]

I'll teach you later. It'll be your Christmas present.

I've got to make do with what I've got.

[bittermayfly.livejournal.com]

Fine.

I'll go with.

[have-your-lives.livejournal.com]

[Schuldig raises an eyebrow at him. His question is exceedingly succinct.]

Why?

[bittermayfly.livejournal.com]

It's better than spending Christmas with Ken and Miakis.

[have-your-lives.livejournal.com]

You'd prefer dying with me? I don't know if I should be flattered, or Ken and Miakis should be insulted.

[bittermayfly.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's a bit of both.

[have-your-lives.livejournal.com]

Maybe. [There's a long pause before Schuldig writes something that, under any better circumstances, he'd never admit.] I wouldn't mind the company.

[bittermayfly.livejournal.com]

[Nagi knows it's a rare admission, but he doesn't tease, he just nods at Schuldig.]

Then I'll stay there with you until we die.

[have-your-lives.livejournal.com]

[Schuldig nods in return.] You know Farfarello's gone?

I was going to blow up the church for his Christmas present, and I still want to do it. He'll appreciate it.

[bittermayfly.livejournal.com]

I saw his drone with two eyes again the other day, so I knew he left.

Blowing it up will be a good gift.

[have-your-lives.livejournal.com]

[Schuldig grins at Nagi and makes a 'come on' gesture.] Now you can be my voice and ears, I guess. [He picks up the notepad and pen after writing the last note, indicating the door.]